Belonging
I am a huge fan of John O’ Donohue. I was introduced to O’ Donohue’s work by my father many years ago and have made a point to search out and study his writing, poetry, prayers and spiritual guidance ever since. The work of O’ Donohue has influenced and guided my own thinking, spilling over into my work and, more importantly, how I see the world I am part of.
John O'Donohue was born in 1956, into a native Gaelic speaking family, on the farm inhabited by previous generations in the Burren Region of County Clare, Ireland. As the oldest of four children, he learned to work alongside his parents and uncle, developing a close kinship with the wild landscape, framed by an ethereal view of a limestone valley and the beckoning waters of Galway Bay. This valley was the shell of John's soul, forging a deep and powerful connection with the elements shaping him. He was educated at the local primary school, alternating his studies with the farm chores of tending livestock, raising crops and carving peat for fuel, in his youth. John later described the profound influence of his childhood home as, "A huge wild invitation to extend your imagination…an ancient conversation between the land and sea."
Although not his most famous work - that title would probably go to his first published work of prose, Anum Cara (1997), I am particularly interested in his second published book Eternal Echoes; Exploring our Hunger to Belong (1998). I do not consider myself skilled enough in the art of literature to even begin to describe how wonderful O’ Donohue’s command of words and vocabulary are. I would simply gently encourage you to discover his work for yourself. You will not be disappointed. I can assure you that.
I am fairly certain that I have ‘properly’ read Eternal Echoes half a dozen times and I regularly pick the book up and spend a few moments in it’s company whilst drinking a coffee or taking a break from the tasks and chores of the day. The book, for me, is a literary version of one of those wire head massagers, the ones that make you buckle at the knee and make gentle purring sounds at the same time. Eternal Echoes does this for my soul.
Today I decided that I would start again, right from the beginning, making sure to read every word: the acknowledgments, the table of contents and the opening poem. In his opening poem O’ Donohue writes;
I arise today
In the name of Silence
Womb of the World,
In the name of Stillness
Home of Belonging,
In the name of Solitude
Of the Soul and of the Earth
I aspire to arise like this, I aspire to write like this, but for now I am grateful just to be able to read this. It is beautiful, is it not?
Today though my spirit was captivated by another short passage that I am familiar with. It is on the second page of the prologue, before the book has even begun in earnest. You can understand why it takes me such a long time to read the book, my heart and mind are captured by most sentences, most paragraphs and most pages. I often have to stop and reread a passage several times just to allow myself to savour and embody O’ Donohues words. This is the passage;
“Our hunger to belong is the longing to bridge the gulf that exists between isolation and intimacy. Distance awakens longing; closeness is belonging. Everyone longs for intimacy and dreams of a nest of belonging in which one is embraced, seen and loved. Something within each of us cries out for belonging . We can have all that the world has to offer in terms of status, achievement and possessions, yet without a true sense of belonging, our lives feel empty and pointless.”
Again, I’m sure you will agree, such an understanding of prose and literary beauty. Maybe my attraction to O’ Donohue is that he seems to speak directly to my spirit, my essence, my soul. His writings seem to bypass the intellectual part of me and travel, with such grace, straight to my heart centre. Maybe it is his ability to speak of, and articulate so poignantly, the very essence of the human condition that gently embraces me and draws me in.
As I reread the passage above I noticed a subtle change in how I was understanding it. On previous reads I had read it from the position of me being the person who “is longing to bridge the gulf that exists between isolation and intimacy” that is, I was the person in isolation, and that the intimacy that O'Donohue speaks of lies somewhere else - in some other person or place. This time of reading though I was aware that I am both the person in isolation and that the intimacy I hunger for is also me.
Viewed from this perspective I can see that my task is to be intimate with myself; my anger, my sadness, my fear. From this new vantage point I can see that there is a part of me that hungers to belong to me. I hunger to be embraced, seen and loved by myself. I invite you to go back and reread the passage above from this new perspective. Do you hunger to belong? Are you longing for your own intimacy? Are you dreaming of a nest where you can rest and belong to yourself?
This new perspective may seem a little spiritually high falutin, it does take a while to ‘be with’ this new perspective, but ultimately it makes the task of finding that intimacy much easier. The responsibility lies within. There is no journey, there is only the removal of ignorance, my own ignorance.
This new perspective removes the responsibility that I have given to the other. It also removes the resentment that I may develop towards the other because, ultimately, the other can never create that “nest of belonging where one is embraced”. This new perspective makes life so much easier. The responsibility and therefore the power lies with me, within me. I am the nest of belonging, I am the belonging, I am the bridge that connects my isolation to my intimacy. So are you.
